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In short,yes, I do think he thought I got some thrill from being raped, which,when you see it in print is quite possibly the stupidest notion around.But at the time, in the moment, with the emotion, yeah, he probably didthink I liked it and since he always had that orgasm to fall back on, henever took my protests and breakdowns as serious as he should have. Thatday affected me in a million different ways. Even I wasn't too sure fora while what had happened or why it happened. How does a person cumduring the most inhumane, degrading treatment imaginable? It's toofucked up to think about really. I'm just glad I got over my fears andbecame sexually active again. I wasn't sure for a while if I could everopen my legs again.Q. Ryan appeared to expect you to be the same with him sexually while youhealed from the rape. Do you think Ryan felt like you owed him for all hedid for you (hence the expectation of sex regardless of how you weredoing mentally)?A. Yes. I definitely do. His. Which, to be honest, was a large part of my attraction for them. Other girls may insist they'd do anything I wanted, but I knew there was a hook inside their bait. With Claire and Diana, there was no hook, and no strings attached either. They were overjoyed to give themselves to me, which worked for me.It worked so well that I soon decided that our clothes were in the way. I started stripping Claire, nodding to Ava to do the same to Diana. Both sisters cooperated fully and delightfully.It was obvious to me that they were both very conscious of their bodies, and were sure they weren't developed enough for me, so I showered them with praise about how beautiful and sexy they both were. Which wasn't hard to do, as they were. Diana was easily developed enough to make any boy happy, that requiring not much more than a handful of breast. Claire had only been developing for few months. She was probably past the nubbin stage, based on my highly uneducated opinion that her breasts looked more.
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